The Last Infirmity of Noble Minds

We’ve been having altogether too much fun lately with our forays into “low culture”. So let’s get back on the high road of fine art, shall we? Specifically, I’ve been thinking of that #1 “buzz killer” of English Literature, Mr. John Milton. As you may recall, he wrote that great epic poem, “Paradise Lost”. Perhaps you read it in Freshman Lit – as in, “From Beowulf to Shakespeare to Milton”?

Hey, that sounds like a great infield for the Cubs!

You may remember the poem relates how Satan rebelled from God and plunged into the lake of Hell with his “generational cohort” only to make a comeback as the serpent in the Garden of Eden where things took something of a U-turn for humanity… as in…

“Of man’s first disobedience, and the fruit of that forbidden tree whose mortal taste brought death into the World and all our woe, sing Heavenly Muse!”

Pretty heavy stuff! And quite a spell binder – at least as long as Milton’s talking about those bad, bad Devils! The parts on the joys of Heaven are sadly a bit of a snooze fest as “goodness” is somewhat hard to make very dramatic. But all in all a good read - although Samuel Johnson once remarked, “A great poem surely but no one ever wished it any longer.” At least I think it was Johnson. Maybe it was Oscar Wilde… or Mark Twain… or Benjamin Franklin… or Jon Stewart. But it was one of those guys.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking of how Milton also wrote that “fame is the last infirmity of noble minds…” By that I believe he meant that long after lust, wrath, gluttony and the desire for our own personal fleet of Maserati Quattroportes have fallen away, we’d still like to see our names up in their lights enshrined with the great immortals. This attraction seems especially strong for us so-called “creative types.” Poets, novelists, playwrights, all test off the charts on the Meaning of Life Survey Question #491b, “How important is it to you your work endures after you shuffle off this mortal coil?” There’s also that added sense that many of us… ahem… regional… not to say local… not to say unknown… writers have that posterity will right the wrongs and restore us to a posthumous notoriety denied by… well… reality…

I mean it happened to Beethoven, didn’t it? Well, if not to him, somebody else, right? Van Gogh? Yeah, I’m pretty sure about him. And I’m sure there are several others I could name if I just fired up Wikipedia… or Google… or Skype…

What makes this especially poignant for me is I recently had an interesting dream. Okay, I know, I know... If you look up “boredom” in the dictionary, you’ll find that definition 4a(1)c is “A state of stupefaction induced by listening to other people’s dreams.” But please hang in there! In my dream, I was dead, dead, dead… which rather surprised me as I was still very much aware of what was going on. In addition, I was able to see quite far into the future as my sense of time and space was vastly expanded. And, in my dream, I saw that my future “executor” was going through all our stuff so he could sell our dear little home. And my heart was moved with pity as I saw him wrestle with the question of what to do with all my posthumous “literary words and works.”

Just to give a sense of perspective, when it comes to the writing life, I am the equivalent of one of those poor wretches on “Hoarders.” So I have…. ahem… a lot of manuscripts lying around – all in my utterly indecipherable script. So my poor Executor was trying to decide what to save and what to toss. Finally, the poor sod said, “What the hey! I’m tired. It’s time for lunch. And who can read all this scribbling anyway?” And so my “collected works” went into the “1-800-Got-Junk” pile along with a one-way ticket to oblivion… the great void… non-existence… The End….

Then I woke up.

“Ah, another restful night!” I said to myself as I stretched and yawned and made my morning cup of tea. “Thank goodness that was only a dream…”

And then I realized, with utter certainty, it wasn’t a dream. It was a prophecy… one I knew was an absolutely accurate prediction of the future.

“Well, that’s interesting,” I said to myself as I sat down for my morning writing session, “I wonder what I should do next?”

The “Seduction” of Country Music

With a “shout out” (in the best DJ fashion) to “Claudine in Santa Rosa.” I thought of you in your beautiful garden while I wrote this – and maybe you were listening to a little C&W at the same time?

As we say good bye to the world of music videos, I’ve been thinking about another seduction that’s always been near/dear to my heart: Country and Western music! As a kid, I remember my Dad playing it late at night on the radio when we were driving home and we’d all sing along to help him stay awake:

“Pop a top my friend/Let’s have another round….”

Naturally, I loved the outrageous language and puns and the heightened emotion! So, riffing off my work in instructional design, I’ve done a “job aid” so you can always tell my favorite male singers apart - in case you get confused – which could happen!

They are, in no particular order:

• Roger Miller
• George Jones
• Merle Haggard
• Johnny Cash

1. If you ran into them in prison, what would they be in for?

Roger: Underage drinking (chug a lug, chug a lug!)
George: DUI (and livin’ in a honky-tonk prison).
Merle: Armed robbery (and doin’ life without parole).
Johnny: Murder (probably of some no good, triflin’ woman like that Delia).

2. Based on their music, how do they feel about Jesus?

Roger: Doesn’t come up that much, hard to imagine the “Roger Miller Gospel Album.”
George: Just wants a closer walk with Him, after he (George) dries out a little.
Merle: Kind of a working man? Carpenter? Got screwed by the bosses?
Johnny: Washed in the Blood, drenched in the Blood, just a whole lot of Blood.

3. What are their politics?

Roger: Anarchist
George: Oblivious
Merle: Libertarian
Johnny: Red (with some white and blue mixed in from that Ragged Old Flag)

4. What will they be in their next incarnation?

Roger: A dragonfly, a hummingbird, anything bright and brilliant that moves!
George: A jug of Pappy’s home squeezin’, mighty, mighty pleasin’… ooooooh.... white lightning’!
Merle: A hound dog riding on the old S&P with that lonesome whistle blowin’.
Johnny: The ink on some badass’s neck tattoo when it just has to be scratched.

5. What was their biggest hit?

Roger: King of the Road
George: He Stopped Loving Her Today
Merle: Okie from Muskogee
Johnny: I Walk the Line

6. If you only listen to one song, let it be…

Roger: The Last Word in Lonesome Is Me
George: Choices
Merle: Mama Tried
Johnny: Delia (how can you not love a murder ballad?)

7. Based on their songs, what’s most important to them?

Roger: Creativity and enjoying his own mind (as Dwight Yokam once put it, “Writing with Roger is to know what’s it’s like to be a pickup next to a Lear Jet…”)
George: Drying out and being loved by the right woman.
Merle: Dyin’ beside the highway and rottin’ away like some old high line pole (with the occasional pretty woman to serve him coffee and rub his back).
Johnny: The rebirth of the universe in a Christ-centric loving totality where all God’s children feel happy – except when that little bit of Satan still inside starts itching to come out and you just gotta kill somebody.

8. What will they be best remembered for?

Roger: For being the greatest genius in C&W history.
George: For having the best voice God ever gave a country singer.
Merle: For writing more good country songs than anyone who ever lived – and still not feeling very happy about it.
Johnny: For being the only man who could make a room go crazy by saying, “Hello, I’m…”

For further reference:

For Roger Miller, doing a “medley” of his hits (with chorus!):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5cDuzselc4&feature=related

For Merle doing his rambling thing, btw, was there ever a better C&W band than The Strangers?:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIcOSgTyOfE&feature=related

For Johnny Cash, talking about murder, in Manhattan no less:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNPp2IBO-T0

For George Jones, asking a highly pertinent question to end this post:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_c1PYbuBrUM&feature=related

Special Roger Miller bonus video, one time only!

Poor Roger – so stereotyped as the “goofy guy who wrote novelty songs”. The man could write anything! Blues, ballads, torch songs, “twangers”, Broadway scores, you name it. For proof, check out a very young K.D. Lang doing the great Miller tune, “Lock, Stock and Tear Drops”:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Z7io1W_IEs