Top Ten Music Videos from the 1980s - Part Two

It’s time to continue my list of the greatest videos of all time (or at least from the 1980s.) So let’s do it!

6. The Bangles: The Hero Takes A Fall (1984)

Hard to believe, but there was a time when people argued about who was “edgier” - the Bangles or the Go-Go’s! I was always a bit of a Bangles man - and seeing Susanna Hoffs again in that little French maid’s outfit only confirms it! Yowza! I think my head would fall off too if she gave me a little peck on the cheek like that. But can I confess that my heart truly belonged to Michael Steele, the bass player? Was I the only guy in America who felt that way? It’s just she looks so smoldering in that 1980s “power” suit!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WTjBdRtM2U&feature=related

7. The Go-Gos: We Got the Beat (1981)

Okay, I’m feeling bad because I don’t want anyone to think I’m disrespecting the Go-Go’s. So here they are in all their early ‘80s glory. You can make up your own minds as to which ‘girl band’ was the best! In my next lifetime, however, I want to come back as Jane Wiedlin – spinning like a whirling dervish as she plays the guitar on all these catchy tunes! Did she see God doing this? You have to wonder!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_1BGKNk85M

8. Once in a Lifetime: Talking Heads (1980)

I hesitated on including this as some people might think it’s actually… Well… good. But I have such a fondness for the old style TV evangelists of my youth that I decided to overlook that.

Speaking of which, did you know the golden altar here at our church at the corner of Figueroa and 114th Street is the most powerful force for prayer in the history of the universe? It only looks like it’s made of aluminum foil that’s been pasted on ply board and spray-painted. No, it’s solid gold! From the Ark of the Covenant! Or Noah’s Ark! Or one of those arks! If don’t believe me, hold your hand to your computer screen and I’ll heal you of any and all of your invisible ailments. Deafness? Neuralgia? Headache? Feeeeeeeee-male troubles? No problem! And if you want your pie in the sky, you call somebody else. But if you want your pie right now, with ice cream on top, you come and see me! Because Jesus wants you to be rich!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1wg1DNHbNU

9. David Bowie: Let’s Dance (1983)

Wow! A criticism of commodity fetishism, Third World imperialism, racism, and nuclear war - all in one video! Plus a great beat! Who could ask for more? Love the final shot too.

BTW, can you imagine David Bowie buying pants? “Excuse me. Do you have anything with a 12 inch waist? No? We’ll, just give me a size 24 and I’ll cut ‘em in half.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0paUlhI2wts

10. The English Beat: Save it for Later (1982)

“Doctor, I keep having this dream. I’m in this claustrophobic little cellar that doubles as a night club. And this adorable guitar player is singing this catchy ditty but I can’t understand a word of what he is saying. ‘Sooner or later?’ ‘Send her a letter?’ ‘Sell me a ladder?’ But it doesn’t matter because everybody is young and beautiful - even the people who are supposed to be the “old fogeys” are beautiful! And I try and try but I can’t quite figure out what books the ‘snobs’ are reading. Is that really, “Das Capital?” Pretty heavy! Then again I always liked a little Mark and Engels while digging some cool tunes. Don’t you, Doc? Doesn't everybody? And there’s a Brigitte Bardot movie poster too. Hubba, hubba! So what does it all mean? Is it a reflection of my ambivalence between high and low culture? Or is it something deeper? Please Doc, you got to help me! I’ve been having this dream since 1982!”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bM0wVjU2-k

Two last things:

1. I had tremendous fun writing these posts. I hope you’ve enjoyed them too!

2. I also feel incredibly sad. All those perfect unlined faces! Are they really wrinkled geezers now? Like me? Impossible!

Top 10 Music Videos from the 1980s – Part One

In my post on “silly seductions,” I mentioned how I enjoyed (preferably cheesy) music videos from the 1980s. I have been subsequently chastised for not giving examples. “I felt seduced and abandoned,” one friend wrote. “Come on! The devil’s in the details!” So I’ve decided to yield to “popular demand” and give my personal Top 10. To keep this post from being ridiculously long, I’ll do 5 this time and 5 the next. There are some rules, however:

• Each video must be on YouTube for easy viewing.
• They must be early 80's. After that, things got waaaaaay too professional.
• No Madonna, no Michael Jackson, and a minimum of mullets.
• They don't all have to be "good" – otherwise what’s the point?

So here they are… in no particular order of merit… I love all my children equally! Because they are all special!

1. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers: The Waiting (1981)

This was the first music video I ever saw. It came on after a late night movie as filler to get the station to the end of the hour. At the time, it “blew my mind.” “Wow,” I thought, “You can hear the song and see a little story at the same time! What a concept!” It’s a catchy tune, don’t you think it? And Tom Petty has an adorable overbite. And the budget must’ve been $1.89 – mostly for the spilled paint and the colored ropes. And I love it when he swings his guitar and breaks through to the dimension of hidden guitar solos!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMyCa35_mOg

2. Bananarama: Robert De Niro’s Waiting - Talking Italian (1984)

First off, these girls were absolutely beautiful. They also could sing – which was something of a plus. Again, the budget is … ahem… modest. It includes a ratty Italian sports car from Guido’s House of Wrecks. And the guy they hired to be “Robert de Niro” seems more like Beaver Cleaver in pinstripes. Talk about cheesy - this one even features a pizza as the big finish! And would you like pepperoni with that, Mr. De Niro?

Did I say those girls were beautiful?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDXtM8XaSKw

3. Eurhythmics: Love is a Stranger (1982)

I was going through some “heartbreak” of my own at the time and this song really touched me. Of course, I now think, “Heartbreak? What heartbreak? I was young! How could I have been heartbroken? Waking up with your hip always hurting, that’s heartbreak!” But this video brought me solace – as well as Annie Lennox, dressed in furs, wigs and black leather, playing with sharp objects and doing the robot in her Saville Row suit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6f593X6rv8

4. The Motels: Only the Lonely (1982)

Did anyone ever do anguish better than Martha Davis? I feel anguished just writing this. I can’t imagine her ever being happy - even if she ordered a bowl of soup, she’d be anguished. In fact, sometimes you’re just so anguished you can’t even keep your little black pillbox hat with the charming black veil on your head! You just have to tear it off and wave your hair around in the air-conditioned breeze! Oh, the humanity!

And is that an earthquake that happens in this one? Or is all that anguish so strong that it just moves mountains (and martini glasses)?

BTW, if they ever do a remake of this, I want to play the bartender. Love that snappy salute! Not to mention that orange bow tie/white suit combo. He looks like a human Creamsicle!

BTW2, was being a “Motel” the easiest job in the world? Just strum your guitar and let Martha sing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaPTELylZ1s

5. Fun Boy Three– Our Lips Are Sealed (1984)

I know the Go-Gos had the hit, but I preferred this version. Much to love here, including:

• Terry Hall (who co-wrote the tune) giving new meaning to the word “expressionless.”
• The incredibly hot drummer girl (who gives Terry a run for his money in the “I can be more catatonic than you” sweepstakes).
• The adorable lead guitar player with his Irish cap. He looks so self-conscious and awkward. But what a cutie pie!
• The incredibly hot cello girl sawing dutifully away even though she must’ve known no one could hear her!

So what do you think? Who put a bigger hole in the ozone layer with their hair spray? Cello girl or Terry?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqQT3oKA3v8

Well, next time, it’s Videos 6-10. Meanwhile, I’m curious… any videos you’d like to share? Let me know!

Some "silly" seductions

A reader of this blog remarked that it’s taken a relentlessly “high brow” tone so far. Mozart. The Mahabharata. Noh drama. Arthur Miller! Oh my! So I thought I’d get off of my high horse and talk about some “silly” seductions that I love - sometimes also known as “guilty” pleasures”.

1. Wedding pictures on Facebook of people I don’t know.

Have you ever had a Facebook friend “tagged” in a wedding photo and lose all sense of time looking at the album of shots? Well, I have – plenty of times! Even though the bride, groom, families and friends are complete unknowns, I happily peruse every shot and cluck, cluck cluck! “My how pretty she looks!” “Where did he find that tuxedo?” “Are those the most adorable bride's maids ever?” So what makes this so fascinating? Why do I start making up stories about the happy couple and their clans? Why do I speculate on if the wedding will “work?” Beats me! But I find it endlessly “seductive.”

2. Black-and-White TV Westerns

Thanks to Netflix, you can now watch just about any episode of any show from the 1950s. Hard to believe but there was a time when all of the Top 10 TV shows were Westerns. People even wrote serious essays about whether Westerns would destroy television as an “art form”…

Well, I guess we dodged that bullet! Yee, haw!

In any case, I love being seduced by my two boyhood favorites…

• First, there’s “Rawhide”. What a hoot! All those doggies getting along! Such gorgeous photography too! And there’s Clint Eastwood as the “ramrod” Rowdy Yates. Most of the time he’s just a goofy, toothy, silly young thing falling in love with every gal he meets and getting bopped on the head by no-good-niks once a show. Every blue moon, though, he shows a flash… and it’s just a flash… of the cold-blooded “Dirty Harry” to come. It’s kind of thrilling/chilling when it happens! “Go ahead, you rustlers, make my day!” Yikes!

• Next, we “Have Gun Will Travel”. That song! It’s still rumbling through my cerebellum. “A knight without armor in a savage land…” What could be better than that? I remember being so naive as a kid that I thought Paladin’s first name was “Wire.” And if you got that joke, give me a call! We’ll dress up in black and sing “dum-dum-dudda-dudda-dum” each time we hand out our business cards. And we’ll quote Shakespeare and Shelley every time we face down an evil-doer! And was there ever a craggier, grumpier, lumpier leading man than Richard Boone? Got to love him!

3. Music Videos from the 1980s

You know you’re a geezer when you remember people talking about music videos as the next great art form! Anyway, I still love the ones from the 1980s when the idea was new and people were willing to try anything. So cheesy! So low tech! So alive! The “Pop-Up Video” show is a particular silly seduction. I love it when those “thought balloons” emerge during a song with some nugget of useless information. And who knew that all the members of Duran Duran had to be resuscitated during the filming of “Hungry Like the Wolf”?

4. The World Cup

Can anything be sillier than watching grown men chasing something called a Jabulani? (That’s a ball by the way and not an exotic carnivore on the endangered species list.) Still I find myself utterly seduced. And it doesn’t matter who is playing. Paraguay? Japan? Serbia? Bring ‘em on! I’m even starting to like the buzz of those silly horns (insert angry insect simile here). I love fuming and fretting about who will win or why they lost or what will come tomorrow. Although I should know it’s all futile in the end. In the words of the immortal Gary Lineker, “Soccer is a game for 22 people that run around, play the ball, and one referee who makes a slew of mistakes, and in the end Germany always wins….”

So I’m curious…

Do you have any silly seductions to share? Anything “relentlessly” low brow?

Meanwhile, “head ‘em up and move ‘em out!”